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The other night I wandered downtown to see the Hollywood schlock-fest I Am Legend. I needed a bit of escapist fantasy time, and I love a good zombie movie. I didn’t think it was too bad, for a Hollywood blockbuster. One of my guilty pleasures.

It’s funny though, but walking back to my car through the drizzly streets of Portland, I was struck by a profound sense of despair. This is not uncommon, because I happen to read from time to time, and pay attention to what’s going on in the world. Yeah, it’s a curse. This particular bout of despair I treated with the usual; beer, human contact, and some more beer, with mixed success.

Alas, this is always a temporary relief, because let’s face it, there’s reason to despair these days. Global warming, environmental degradation, peak oil, ignorance, hate — it’s a goddamn smorgasbord of reasons to feel blue. Also, I prefer to temporarily numb my brain with alcohol, as opposed to permanently reprogramming it with television. I’m sure I could buy a big flat screen and spend my evenings zoning out on the latest pablum, instead of, say, reading and thinking about shit. I’m sure all those irritating concerns would wither under a daily onslaught of consumerist propaganda. Frankly, I’d rather be depressed.

Recently, I’ve been exposed to the ideas of several people that have enhanced my understanding of the world and it’s trajectory, and helped dispel a tiny bit of my profound ignorance. I’d highly recommend reading all these cats (or looking them up on Google Video), in no particular order; Derrick Jensen, Terrence McKenna, and Ken Wilber.

I’m going to go ahead and blame Jensen for my recent bout of despair. He’s big on bashing hope, which he defines as a longing for a future condition over which you have no agency. That pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it? I don’t hope I’m going to eat tomorrow. I’m fucking committed to it. I’m going to get hungry, and I’m going to eat. That’s simple. On the other hand, I hope I don’t get cancer from all those cigarettes I used to smoke. Big difference.

And, I think there was a little death of hope in me that night. Or, maybe it’s been a long time coming, and reading Jensen was just a nail in the coffin. Let’s face it, the shit’s going to hit the fan in the next decade or so, and hope’s not going to change that. Neither is technology, regardless of what some evangelists might like to believe. The only thing that is going to effect the outcome, and the future viability of human civilization (or the human species), is a radical shift in human consciousness.

Personally, I think this shift in human consciousness is a requirement for the long term survival of the ecosystem as we know it. At this point in time, human civilization, the survival of the human species, and by extension, the survival of higher life forms, are all inextricably tied together. So, while Jensen calls for taking down civilization, I don’t think that’s even possible without an accompanying change in how humans view the world, and their relation to it. Trying to undermine civilization at this point would be the most divisive event in human history, leading to civil unrest, state repression, civil war, and ultimately global war, and the end of almost all life on the planet.

Well, that’s my prediction anyway. I could be wrong. I just think the too many people, mainly “civilized”, western people, are so entrenched in their materialist, consumer identities that they’ll fight to the death to keep them, clinging to their self-delusions until their dying breath. Most of us already accept the idea that grinding up the planet and turning it into cars and flat-screen TV’s and Britney Spears CD’s and cheap, plastic crap from Walmart is not only a fine idea, but the very essence of advanced, human existence.

People who view the world as an infinite resource to be exploited, and an infinite toilet in which to shit, will not tolerate, much less understand the rationale behind, blowing up a damn, or a factory, or a bulldozer about to scrape the living soil from yet another patch of ground in order to erect yet another scab of prefab homes. We are, as a society, committed to growth at any cost. It’s the very basis for the economy. Anyone who seriously threatens that will be labeled a terrorist, and “right thinking” people will cheer as Blackwater goons beat them with clubs and then ship them off to Gitmo.

Yeah, I guess I’m a cynic. No, actually I know I’m a cynic, in the classical Greek sense of the word. And, although I can’t (yet) agree with Jensen’s solution, I think he’s invaluable to read. Everybody should read him, because his indictments and premises are challenging, heartbreaking, and spot on.

And, after reading him, be sure to check out what Terrence McKenna has to say, and it might save you from either blowing something up, or tumbling into a pit of despair. My idea that the human race needs a radical shift in consciousness comes from him, and I’ll let you discover his solution on your own. Suffice to say he’s brilliant and incredibly insightful, and one of the most entertaining and witty people you’ll ever hear talk about such important issues.

But that’s it for me. Tomorrow I fly to Costa Rica to enjoy some tropical heat, and a meander up through Nicaragua, where people (I expect) are not quite so insane, and have their priorities a bit more in order. One can hope, anyway.

Happy New Year, y’all. May 2008 bring you health, happiness and growth. Enjoy what you find, enjoy the moment, enjoy the beauty of it all.

Peace.